People's heads turn to stare as it goes walking by,
For they never have seen such a mysterious pie.
Where did it come from? Nobody knows.
And nobody can wait 'til it finally goes.
It's quite cold to the touch compared with some pies,
because it has to stay outdoors because of it's size.
It's skin is all greasy and I think that it's pork,
Although it won't ever tell you because meat pies cannot talk.
It's not that it's evil or does anything wrong
That the locals all hoped it will go before long.
It hangs round the chip shop next to the park,
And sometimes the river just as it gets dark.
It lurks by the football pitches to watch, never play,
And visits the library every other Thursday.
It once helped a lady locked out of her house
And calmed down a horse startled by a mouse.
It gives children rides on it's crust just for fun
And acts as a marshal for the local fun-run.
It helped Mrs McCourt sort out her tax form,
And rebuilt the school knocked down by a storm.
But as long as it's around it will always be feared
Because the Mysterious Pie is just creepy and weird.
So the townsfolk trapped it with the help of Police
And tethered it tightly to give them some peace.
The rope used is long so the pie can wander around
And it shows no concern about being bound.
The Pie seems to understand that it must wear it's new leash
Because it too saw the terror of The Mysterious Quiche!