Miss Evadne Pringle

Poor old Miss Evadne Pringle
Never Married, nor engaged, died quite single.
Always did what was prim and proper,
So couldn't have a man who might try and stop her.
Dressed head to toe in respectable tweed,
Glasses on a chain that she used to read.
Hair in a bun that was done most tightly,
A wash and a rinse by hairdresser fortnightly.
Her house was a shrine to taste and decorum
Especially the immaculate parlour/front room.
Antimacassars for hair too oily.
Never housed a battenburg that wasn't on a doily.
No strong smells to affront your nose,
Except a hint of lavender or rose.
Metal on display highly polished not rusted,
China trinkets wearing out from being over dusted.
She had a few hobbies like baking and reading,
and pottered round the garden when it needed weeding.
A pillar of the community and WI,
Always could be relied on for some jam or pie.
Helped run the church events for several vicars.
Never cursed or swore or even said knickers.
Her rose flanked cottage was often called quaint
and she herself was thought of as a saint.
Innocent, virginal, virtuous, pure,
But something happened that made people unsure.
Because when she died they found her one lewd habit:
She'd buzzed herself to death with a Rampant Rabbit.