Oh salad bar at Morrisons how I love thee!
How I long to explore every inch of your stainless steel body.
Your hygienic silver body containing many containers of yummy foodstuffs.
Not much like an actual body, but let's go with it.
My empty stomach aches for your interesting selection of pasta salads:
The tomatoey one, the other tomatoey one, the one that tasted fishy that hopefully contained fish.
Rice salad, cous cous and quinoa for a plastic bowlful of exotic multi-multiculturalism.
The taste of your croutony lettuce fills me with joy, and croutons and lettuce, obviously.
Hard boiled eggs! Where else on the high street can you buy individual hard boiled eggs for fucks sake!!!
I dream of ripping off your sneeze guard and making mad passionate love
to you in a flurry of grated cheese and crunchy onion bits.
But I can't. It's not Asda.
I'll never have that moment so I'll imagine the next best thing. Rachael Riley with breasts like your falafels.
Thursday, 16 March 2017
Harry from the band One Direction
Had the most massive unwanted erection
He tried to hit it and slap it
But in the end had to strap it
To his leg to avoid it's detection
The singer named Harry Styles
Had the most terrible case of the piles
Once, during a tune
He pulled his pants down to moon
And you could see them from miles and miles
Harry Styles once had a green cock
So decided to go see the Doc
And said "as you can see
I have a bad STD
'Cause instead of condoms I use an old sock"
A girl fan fucked Harry Styles up the bum
With a strap-on but he kept looking glum.
He just wouldn't groan
And instead had a moan
"At least I can feel when my Louis has come!"